Hey Pole Baby
by Auttzthoughtz
Summary: Steve is usually not the going out with the team type and is convinced by his friends that he needs to go out despite not being able to be drunk, doesn't mean he can't have fun. He really takes this to heart tonight in hopes of getting a certain friend's attention. STONY.


Steve was feeling left out. Why? A simple fact of his particularly neat life everyone had seemingly forgotten: his serum prevented him from getting drunk.

His team regularly went out to celebrate, and majority of them would act like idiots. Tony would say things like 'loosen up and enjoy yourself'. Coming from the post-alcoholic stage of Tony's life, it was pretty serious that even he was insinuating such things.

He watched Bruce for a while first on their outings. Noting that yes, Banner too, was unable to get drunk because of his super-human condition. But the doctor would still play along, act like an idiot, and be a part of the team activity.

So after one particularly gruesome battle, Steve caved in. When he was getting ready to go out, he heard a knock on the door, admiring the most ridiculous outfit he ever had worn in the mirror.

Wanda smiled the second she saw Steve. "You look better than I do," she started slowly, gesturing to her own pretty red dress and re-done hair. "And that, my dear, is definitely saying something."

"Are you still sure you couldn't, you know, warp reality a little bit so I won't have to feel so idiotic acting the part?" Steve said, looking again at his gorgeous figure under a pair of decently-tight (reminding the Captain almost of his spandex) dark-wash jeans, and a classic one of his v-neck shirts that clung in all the right places. "I feel ridiculous."

"That's sort of the point of getting drunk, other than forgetting the blunt trauma part," Wanda said, checking again on the bandaging on her leg. "The wounds feel better with a little treatment."

"Not why I am doing this," Steve said as he finally felt confident enough to look away from the mirror and at Wanda, shrugging on his brown leather coat.

Wanda smirked. "I know. Don't do the team spiel again, it's not about that. You just want to grab a certain billionaire's attention. And believe me, that will do the trick."

Steve flushes red. "Can we not talk about it?" 

Wanda softens her smile. "Of course sweetheart, let's go have a fun night. It's too bad we're broken up and you like him - you look good."

Steve smiles sheepishly. "You really think so?"

"I know so, come on, watch," Wanda grabs his arm and pulls him out of the room. "Hey everybody I caught the slowpoke, he's finally agreed to come out for a night! Isn't he fabulous?"

A lot of the team members nodded, smiling, happy that their team captain was going to make an effort to come for a night. Clint even gave him a high five, to which Wanda had to explain a little better again to him before Steve would go through with the ritual again.

However, Tony just couldn't keep his eyes off of the super soldier if his life depended on it. That is until his red-headed little best friend elbowed him in the side. "You know, it's not polite to stare," Pepper whispers.

Tony blinks a few times before looking away and towards Pepper, who had also finally agreed to come out for a night and had thrown on a pretty little blue number. Tony was a little more conservative, just a suit with a purple shirt and without a tie. He rolled his eyes. "I was just - shut up." 

"He likes you too," Pepper whispered, shifting her gaze for Tony to follow as Steve gave a few nervous glances Tony's way. "For a genius, you sure are dim. You know he's trying for you, right?"

"That is just nonsensical," Tony whispers back to Pepper. "Cap's the type to tell someone he likes that he does, someone he doesn't that he doesn't. He's anything but-"

Tony caught a flush on Steve's cheeks as the soldier caught the philanthropist's eyes. Pepper smiles ear-to-ear. "Shy? It's not his area of expertise, take it easy on him. I mean it Tony."

Tony shrugged, shooting a reassuring smile Steve's way, only making Steve flush a brighter red and turn to Wanda to start panicking. Tony chuckles softly. "I know."

*at the club*

"How many drinks has he had?"

"Has to have been ten!"

"No. I think it was more. I have never seen him so-"

"I know!"

Steve's team members - including Bucky, Nat, Clint, and Wanda (along with the many others that stayed silent on the subject for the most part) - all chimed in on how ridiculous of a drunk Steve was being. Bruce just walked back to the more comfortable seating where Tony was sitting, observing the show with great amusement. "Steve has never looked like that before."

Steve was running around dancing, barely stable on his feet. His words slurred a bit when he came by to speak, and he was anything but put-together. Steve stumbled over to Tony's table and takes a seat on Tony's lap. Tony just laughs softly. "Hey big guy, how's the drinks treating you?"

Steve looks as if he's lost for a minute before finally smiling and answering the question. "I like them. They taste interesting."

"I know they do," Tony says in a moment of remembrance.

Steve hears it right after it comes out of his mouth. "You aren't missing anything, really, you aren't."

Tony smiles gently. "I will be alright."

"I've missed you out there," Steve says in a slow, slurred voice. "You know you don't have to drink to come dance."

"Dance with who?" Tony asks slowly. Bruce smiles by his side, knowing remotely what Steve's answer is going to be.

Steve leans down, knowing he can't spare the time to think about it if he wants to keep up this façade, and plants a quick kiss on Tony's lips, barely giving Tony any time to respond before pulling away and saying. "With me, silly."

Steve then proceeds to get up and reach out his hand to Tony. Tony shakes his head, causing Steve to pout. Tony laughs softly in response. "In a few minutes, okay Cappykins?"

Steve nods, thinking now it might be time that he will have to move to another drastic measure to get Tony's attention, so he goes to talk to the girls again.

Meanwhile, Bruce grabs Tony's arm to get his attention. Tony glares at him for pulling him out of his daze. Bruce rolls his eyes. "Just so you know, he isn't drunk."

"He has had like thirty drinks, there is no way he isn't," Tony replies indignantly.

Bruce sighs. "You really don't remember? Steve is like me, the serum fucks with the one thing most of these heroes use to cope on these times. You remember how you used to like to use it, and now you are a bigger mess than ever. The guy just wanted to fit in, and he wanted your attention - the serum heals everything too fast to react, including alcohol impairment."

Tony smiles a smaller smile. "Really?"

"More-so, he wants your attenti- well holyfuckingshit go tell him he has your attention now," Bruce said, wide-eyed at the new sight.

Steve was dancing on one of the bar's poles on the stage. At first it looked more appealing than embarrassing to Tony, until he saw all the camera-phones. He used his phone to temporarily erase their phones ability to film and hurried over to the stage. "Steve, honey, you have to get down from there."

"Why?" Steve asks softly, looking towards Tony as he shimmies his ass down the pole, open-legged to Tony's attention.

It took Tony's mind a minute to snap back to the issue at hand. It took him another minute to think of a solution to this. "Steve, come on down. I thought we were going to dance." Steve reached his hand down and pulled Tony on stage. Tony flushed red. "This is even a little exuberant for my taste, sweetums, and that's saying something."

"Please," Steve pleaded.

Tony nodded and wrapped his arms around the super soldier's waist. "What now?"

"Can I kiss you again?" Steve asked in a small voice, sounding more like his nervous-to-romance self.

"Fuck yes," Tony said initially, before thinking it over and trying to amend it. "I mean, uhm, I mean please."

Steve was more than happy to smash their lips together again, this time more furious than before. It was hardly a minute before their lips opened to each other, and they were frenching on a stage in front of over a hundred people. It only caused more attention that Steve used his grip to hoist Tony up, back against a stripper-pole, wrapping his legs around the super soldier eagerly and them both grinding against one another.

"Steve, sweetie, it's a little too much," Maria's voice chimed in from below in her uniform, obviously on business as she tried to save them from more press nightmare tomorrow. "Tony, you should know better."

They finally unlock lips and look around the room to see everyone staring. "It's been a while, Ms. Hill, I wasn't sure," Steve said with an apologetic smile.

Tony smiled brightly. "I couldn't help myself, Maria, you know how it is. He just tastes so good."

"He's got alcohol on his breath," Maria noted about Steve as they came down from the stage. "Firstly, Tony's a recovering alcoholic – that's an irresponsible move as both a leader and friend. Secondly, both of you, take care of your trouser problems in a less public arena please."

"Tony, I didn't think about it like that," Steve replies as he looks to Tony with a softer expression.

Tony shrugged. "I am fine, no relapse. Unless about the other thing. We should do the other thing. The thing like we were just doing and – you didn't have to play drunk to grab my attention. Although the jeans are a very welcome change."

"You like them?" Steve said with a flush.

"I would say 'wear them more often' but, uhm, is there a way that isn't indelicate to say I plan on ripping them off of you so you probably can't wear them again?" Tony asked.

"Ms. Hill, does a bathroom count as less public?" Steve asked softly, obviously eager to get to it.

Tony laughed. "Oh, gosh, you are the best - Maria, it's fine, Happy's waiting outside. Have a good one."

"You are my nightmare, Stark," Maria says as she heads off to confiscate people's phones.

"Love you too, gorgeous!" Tony yells as he pulls Steve along to the car by his arm.

A grinning Happy is in there waiting. "I actually thought you were kidding."

Tony pulls Tony in the front seat with him, keeping the soldier on his lap facing forward. Steve bites his lip, looking back at Tony. "This doesn't feel safe."

"Imagine how I feel on your death trap of a motorcycle. Drive, Happy, home we go," Tony said, wrapping his arms protectively around Steve's waist.

Steve laughs. "It's not even my bike it's yours you gave to me because you couldn't drive it. Thanks again, by the way."

Pepper slips into the backseat before they can head off. "Hello boys," she says to Tony and Steve. "And hello darling, I have missed you."

Happy turned around with a large grin. "I've missed you too. I think after this we can go home, right boys?"

"If we ever get home," Tony mumbled in a very childish way.

Steve shook his head. They started the car and Steve turned to face Tony, whole body. Everything, especially two things, aligned perfectly. "Thought this might feel a little more comfortable."

"Drive, damnit Happy, home," Tony said before Steve leaned down again to connect their lips, becoming a big side-show to the other two in the car.

"It's kind of awesome," Pepper comments in a small voice.

Happy rolls his eyes. "Pepper, you knew this was going to happen."

"I meant they are actually a truly attractive pair, that's all," Pepper replies softly.

"You know who else looks good together?" Happy says with an ounce of humour to his tone.

Pepper smiled. "I know we do."

They finally pulled up to Steve's apartment building and Happy gave Tony's shoulder a little shove. "It's time to go, boys."

The boys manoeuvre their way somehow latched together up all the way to Steve's apartment before the door slams behind them and they pull apart for air. "We need…"

"Back pocket," Tony replies in a breathless voice.

Steve smirks. "It's like you knew."

"Pepper did," Tony replies shyly, "she not-so-discretely slipped it there right before we left."

Steve flushed. "I don't know if that…yup, that is a bit freaky." 

"Nothing to be worried about right now, just," Tony doesn't finish his words as Steve's actions say the words for him. Steve pulls Tony over to the couch and they start ripping at each other's clothes away before Steve pushes Tony down onto the cushions. "Please," Tony whines, spreading his legs, one hooking over the edge of the couch and the other being grabbed by Steve as the super soldier slicks up his fingers and moves one towards Tony's entrance. "Faster," Tony whines.

Steve moves quicker from two fingers to three before he aligns himself with Tony's entrance and starts pushing inside. Tony makes sounds that Steve didn't know Tony could make as the billionaire tilts his head back, giving perfect access to Tony's neck. Steve reaches up and starts sucking at Tony's neck, making him shudder underneath him. Steve pushes in fully and Tony yells at him to start moving. Steve starts with slow thrusts, gaging how well Tony is doing. That's before Tony whimpers something like 'you can move faster than that' which really gets Steve moving faster. At a speed and precision level that Tony had never felt before, Steve pounded into him until they both went over the edge.

Steve pulls out and collapses onto Tony. It's silent for barely moments before Tony speaks up. "Hun, a little heavy, could you shift," Tony asks softly.

Steve nods quickly and moves to lay behind Tony on the couch, wrapping his arm around him. "That went better than I could've hoped."

"Yeah, but just to be safe, we shouldn't do that again," Tony mutters.

"I, um, oh," Steve says, getting up and carefully moving around Tony to find his clothes. 

Tony raises an eyebrow at Steve. "Where are you going?"

"I…you said we shouldn't," Steve says softly, pausing with his pants in his hands.

Tony shakes his head. "NO – not, I meant, get over here I meant no more causing a scene and getting us in trouble not no more of the hanky panky."

Steve smiles shyly. "I just thought you might…the others say you like one-night things anyways."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Not with you. Come on," Tony gets up and reaches out his hand. "Let's go to bed. Assuming that you have one, since we kind of found the couch first."

"I got impatient," Steve says as he takes Tony's hand and drops his forgotten garments of clothes. "So no more drinking, pole-dancing, or tight jeans?"

"No more drinking for sure," Tony says assuredly, "It does no good for either of us. Tight jeans, we are getting you more of those fuck the team if they don't like those on you. And dancing for me? Well, only at home just because the press will have a field day. I could see the headline now: 'Captain America: hero or Iron Man's personal stripper'?"

"Both," Steve says with a mischievous smile as they fall to the bed.

"There's room in the tower to get a pole installed," Tony says with a soft laugh.

Steve shrugs. "Maybe later."

Tony rests his head on Steve's chest and wraps around him with a grin. "Hey pole baby, are you gonna be mine now? I mean is this a thing or are we just going to hanky panky it up?"

"Shut up," Steve responds, kissing Tony on the top of the head. "You're mine."

Tony laughs. "You realize I probably missed at least one of those phones, we're going to be in the papers tomorrow."

"Hopefully they got a good picture, we could frame it. I'm sure SHIELD will deal with the rest of the press things," Steve smiles brightly.

Tony yawns softly. "Goodnight, Steve."

"Goodnight Tony," Steve replies as they drift off to sleep and a new day.

*THE NEXT DAY*

Both of their phones start going off first thing in the morning. Steve picks his up first. "Good morning Director Fury," Steve says groggily into the phone, dodging the pillows Tony is throwing at him for bothering to pick up the phone.

"Have you seen the motherfucking headline of the day?" Fury yells into the phone.

Steve sighs. "I just woke up. Give me a minute," Steve almost opens his door before he remembers that he isn't wearing anything and grabs a dish-towel to cover himself so he can grab the paper. His neighbor Ally waves at him and winks. He rolls his eyes as he grabs his paper and waves to her with the hand holding his phone that had Fury screaming profanities out of it.

Steve just laughs when he sees the headline. "Hey Pole Baby: Captain America's Wild Side" reads the front cover of the daily newspaper. He goes into the bedroom and hands it to Tony who bursts out laughing too. Fury yells at them to take this seriously. He tells Steve about a bunch of other papers and about how they are going to have to make it up to SHIELD by doing interviews to clear up company image problems. Steve just lets him rant and says a few apologies, agreeing to any interviews they need to do before he finally gets Fury to calm down a bit. The last thing he notes is Fury saying something about getting their asses back to HQ before they get dragged there so they can be taken through the schedule before the line goes quiet.

Tony is just grinning ear to ear. "It's a pretty good photo. They didn't get one of us together though, shame. Just one of you the moment you slid down legs wide open, which I mean, still a great look on you."

Steve picks up one of the pillows off of the floor. "Call Happy, we've got a long day ahead of us. Tell him to bring you clothes and, if you want a picture of us, the paper isn't the only one that posted pictures. It's all over the internet, according to Fury." Steve walks into the bathroom with a stack of clothes to get ready.

Tony smiles brightly, looking around for his phone. He pulls up articles left and right on Google and laughs. "God, we were a mess. A pretty mess but yeah, I can see why HQ is having a field day. I texted Happy he's on his way."

"Perfect," Steve says as he walks out fully dressed. "I don't have much that'll fit but you're welcome to look."

"I'll be fine in this," Tony grabs Steve's house coat and drapes it over himself, grinning.

Steve laughs. "I guess," Steve says, pulling Tony in for a kiss before they go outside where, of course, press cameras are on them left and right. Steve flushes a bit and waves as Tony smiles brightly as they quickly get into the car.

"A robe? Seriously?"

"Good morning to you too, Pepper," Tony says as he takes the clothes she hands him, readying himself to open the robe.

"Tony that might not be –" Steve gets cut off by Happy.

"I don't think there's anyone in this car that hasn't seen Stark naked," Happy says with a sigh. "Don't worry about it."

Pepper chirps up next. "SHIELD isn't the only one worried about damage control. It's one thing to announce you are dating, it's another to gyrate on each other leaning on a pole in a club and follow that by wandering around with him in bath robe. SHIELD and Stark Industries have agreed to have you go in for interviews to clear things up. Announce you are dating and things got a bit out of control."

"We can do something like that, but we only started kind of dating after the whole thing went down," Steve admits slowly.

"Then play it off as a cute couple story instead of a stripper-pole mayhem story, Tony you finished getting dressed?" Pepper asks.

"Yeah, as always. We going right now?" Tony asks quickly.

"You know the sooner the better to clear up press bullshit," Pepper reminds Tony as they are escorted out of the car. "It's a morning show, be nice, and be good. That goes for both of you."

"Thanks Pep," Tony says as he pulls Steve out of the car. "How much press have you had to do before, sweetie?"

"Um," Steve flushes.

"Okay then, just follow my lead," Tony says softly and pecks him on the lips before they go inside.

They go through make-up and hair quickly before they are ushered on an all-too-brightly colored set. The hosts poke a few jokes before they take their seats and they get their turns to talk.

"So how did you two decide to date?"

Steve chirps up first. "I have liked Tony for a while but I never really go out much with everyone. I can't actually get drunk so the appeal of bar nights didn't make sense, although I guess it makes as much sense as Tony going because Tony doesn't drink at all. My friends told me to go for it and I went a bit overboard because Tony likes big gestures to get his attention and um, we just started dating."

"You only started dating following the incident?"

"How many nights have you gotten stupid footage of me when I used to drink? It's not a big deal," Tony chimes in, smirking. "Steve is just shy and he came out of shell for once and can't we all agree he looked great doing it." Steve's cheeks go red and Tony chuckles. "Isn't he cute?"

"I guess what the big question is for you is how this is going to continue forward for you?"

"We don't even know yet. We do know we'll keep private moments such as the one caught last night more private from now on, but for now, we don't know. I am just happy for now that we're finally together," Steve says with a soft smile. The audience all 'awwes' at that and they cut for commercial.

The hosts tell them they are sorry for having to bud in and that they ship it, whatever that means, before they are released to go from their part of being on the show. They go into the car again and are commended on a decent-enough clean up and laugh as they see "Hey Pole Baby" on a billboard in Times Square before they are brought back to the tower and congratulated by their team.

FIN.


End file.
